Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Friends in Foreign Lands

Right now, two of my best friends are traveling with their boyfriends. It seems like most of my friends love to travel, just like I do. I am absurdly jealous that they are able to travel. I love looking at all the pictures.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Getting In Shape

My number one priority right now is to actually get in shape. It is super frustrating becuase I go to the gym everyday and eat right. I have not drank in the last month and have decided to not drink until New Years (except for maybe a glass of wine with turkey dinner). When I go to the gym I do cardio for an hour and then lift weights, depending on the day and how tired I am. I always end with about 20 minutes of abs followed by stretching. It has seemed to me that the more I work out and try to get in shape, the more of a battle it is. I am not losing any weight and I hate looking at myself in a mirror. I went to the doctor to have blood drawn to see if there is something wrong with my thyroid or adrenal glands. I truly hope that there is something wrong with them because if it isnt then I really dont know what else to do. I have tried just about everything to get in shape. I have tried every diet and I have always struggled with my weight and hated how skinny and petite my sisters are, despite how active I am. I hate having the nurses weigh me at the doctor's offices and comment "your a big girl!" or how I can't share clothes with any of my friends. Or how my skinny friends bitch about miniscule "cellulite" on the back of their firm ass.

So I am at a complete loss at what to do. I should know within a week about the bloodwork to see if it is internal. In the meantime, I think I will begin running. Julie runs all the time now and she looks amazing (not that she didn't before, she is lean now, not just muscular). Despite how much I hate it and how much it hurts my knee, I am literally at my wit's end here.